i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
where am i from again
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
