he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize