so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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