why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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