I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can text with my tongue
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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