But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
