i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
