I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
