I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
