It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
