So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Acid is not a monday night drug
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
