brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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