By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
