if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
