Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize