Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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