We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
