I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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