Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
