I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
