All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
