yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
