ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize