Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Help. Why am I so naked?
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