He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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