I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
