He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
