Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
