it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
