You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
