I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
