It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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