You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize