dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
