I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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