That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sober January is a disaster.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
