party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He called his prostate his "boner button".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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