Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
