Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize