Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
