I hate your face
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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