I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
