VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I will be naked everywhere
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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