My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
