And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
40s are totally the cure
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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