I have demons in me.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
