I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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