Don't EVER smell your tampon
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just pee around me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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