i need an iv and a liver transplant
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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