It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize