haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
