Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
