Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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