The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
