i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
