How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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