I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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