uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
