do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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