We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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