Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
