thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
