wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
