We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
