the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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